Happy Birthday to My Baby…
We wanted a boy…
That was really selfish of us, I know. We were lucky just to be having a baby. But still, we both wanted a boy.
When we went in for the ultrasound at 16 weeks, we were nervous, excited, anxious…you name it. One thing we KNEW was that we were going to have a boy. I even jumped the gun and bought some gray and blue ugly dolls along even a Lucasfilm onesie at their company store when I got to visit their campus.
The technician came in, gelled up Better Half and started the wand around her belly. You started to see little features…hands…toes…the head…it was an incredible feeling to be sitting there in that room watching this. That’s our baby!
After a few minutes, the technician told us we were having a girl. We were crushed. I could see the color go right out of Better Half’s face. I held on to her hand and we asked the technician if she was sure. She pointed to a spot on the screen and said “You see that line? If you were having a boy there would be two dots there as well.”
She proceeded to print out the images as we thanked her for her help. When she left the room, we both started crying. This was essentially our final chance at having a child of our own, we both were certain it was going to be a boy and then, it wasn’t.
I’m not going to lie, it took us a while to get over this. I know it might seem a little petty or trivial to some of you…and I’d understand why you might think that way. We just got our hopes up way too high.
Well, a few months later, we had our little girl.
Today, September 26, marks birthday number one.
I can’t imagine my world without her.
This year has gone by so fast. It’s so cliche to say, but my God it’s true.
She surprises me everyday with what she’s learning and doing.
I treasure the little moments… having her prop up against me when she’s drinking a bottle, when she tries to feed me cheese and cheerios and the way she snuggles in my arms has she’s falling asleep for the night.
We read the paper together (she mostly rips it in pieces) and watch football (for as long as I can get her to sit still). She has even been to her first comic book convention AND met Princess Leia…I mean come on! 
There is nothing so pure, so unadulterated, as her smile and her laughter. Just absolute joy! When she smiles at me when I walk into the house at night everything that happened that day just falls to the backseat.
Now, I am still filled with anxiety. I see girls at the mall and think – “oh crap”. That’s YEARS away I know, but I’m constantly aging her, advancing our lives and scaring myself to death. But even with that dread, I could not imagine having a boy now. Why the hell did I ever want to try to raise a “mini-me”?
She is my life and I love her!
Happy Birthday Baby – from your daddy.
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